a dangling participle is better than being invisible,

she might have said.

My cousin said that she has felt like a dangling participle in my niece’s upcoming wedding and all its details. It was a surprising turn of phrase from her, but quite apt. She is trying to fit in from a distance, coming and going from Israel, having left here right before my sister’s death, to return again immediately to be with her husband’s family after his father’s death, and now trying to come for a simchah.

A simchah is a happy event. It is awkward at best to have a wedding so close to the bride’s mother’s death, but more awkward not to.

No, more frustrating not to.

But I am the one who is invisible.

Last week, I ran into Sephora for the first time in my LIFE to find some solutions for the haggardness that I keep seeing when I catch my image in any kind of reflection. So I reflected that I needed some help.

Or magic, what have you.

It was one of those days when the snow was falling, just enough to get us annoyed enough to leave the house, and so I was somewhat bundled up. So was everyone else. But apparently, I was so bundled that I was invisible.

There’s no other explanation.

I wasn’t the oldest woman there, but certainly not the youngest.

I wasn’t calling for attention, but hey! Do they want my business or not?

Apparently not.

I waited a while, which I admit I’m not good at, and then I left.

No one said, “Wait!!! We’ll be right with you!”

Or even “Did you find what you wanted?”

I guess I did.

I went over to Whole Foods to their Beauty aisle. Someone came right up to me and asked if I needed help.

And he helped me. I picked up something or other, then ordered more on Amazon. Invisibility rocks!!

While out in LA, an old friend of my sister’s had invited us to come for Shabbat lunch. My father wanted to get a very nice flower arrangement to bring to them on Friday before Shabbat. We had been out exploring the Farmers’ Market and so I had my camera. The friend saw said camera and said, “I didn’t know you liked to take pictures–just like your father!”

Revelation occurred and I responded, “Actually, he takes photos to be in charge of people; I take photos to hide.”


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